I’ve come to the realization lately that I’m not heading in the direction that I would like in many areas.
When I started this blog earlier this year, my intention was to connect to the vegan community. I was in awe of the social media appearance of that world- the beautifully colored pictures on some of the popular accounts on Instagram and the blogs that went along with them. I wanted to be a part of that, so I created Blissful Veggie.
Flash forward to this past February when that all changed. I had realized that, although my heart was in my veganism for the purpose of compassion for living creatures, my mind had taken on the disordered thinking that surrounds food and restriction. I was fearful that my eating disorder was creeping back in, and my body was telling me it was needing more than what I was giving it. I had also realized that I began compensating for the restriction in other areas of my life that didn’t seem to be very healthy, and it was time for me to make a change. It was really hard, and it still is a struggle, but I’m working towards a balanced, peaceful, label-free life.
I changed my blog to Blissfully Erin, but I just haven’t had the time to devote to it as I wanted. It’s also going in a direction different than I had envisioned. Sometimes, that is a good thing, but in this case, that isn’t what I’m wanting.
I’ve come upon a fork in the road. I’ve been presented with a few options for which path to take. One path is comfortable, safe, easy. This path has few risks involved, but if I take this path, I will be settling. Another path is logical, smart, and still somewhat safe. It’s the path most people would tell me to take, but again, I feel like I’m settling. The final path is completely unknown. It’s scary, it’s the path less traveled, and there are no guarantees. It’s a risk in and of itself. It’s also the path I want to take.
And that should just be my answer- to take the path I want to take. Easy. Done. Except, it isn’t that simple. I have to factor in the other people and areas of my life that taking any of these paths would impact. I know everyone in my life would support me whatever path I choose, but I do have to consider quite a few things.
As I was writing this, I reflected back on the title. Please Excuse The Mess. I started to think about how I should wear a sign, like you see on a building being remodeled, because I am always changing or going through something. But then I realized that we all are. We are always changing or facing some form of a situation which might require us to go through a growth, a remodel phase. And that is so absolutely okay. I’ve said it before, but I truly believe that remaining teachable and in a position where growth and change is possible is key. If I’m not learning, I’m not growing. And I hope that I’m always growing.
So, with that said, I’m taking some time away to do a remodel, professionally, personally, blog-ally, (yeah, just made that a word) emotionally, and mentally. One thing I LOVE when watching one of my favorite shows, Fixer Upper, is the home reveal. The house had a great frame and structure to start with (most of the time), but the insides needed a little work. In some of the houses, original pieces from the house are kept, or undiscovered as a hidden gem. Other times, new pieces are built, walls are torn down, and fresh paint is added. The end result is always the same, beautifully renewed.
Thanks for pardoning me during my remodel and please excuse my mess. I’m a work in progress.